Erik’s Blog

With all the other drama in my life you’d think I wouldn’t have time to read. I’m a bit surprised that I’ve had time, to be honest. Lots of crap is chilling out so I plan on doing some serious catch-up reading soon.

Like anyone cares, huh? Whatevuh, my blog.

Without further ado, here’s the list of books that I’ve read since the last time I bored you with a list of books that I’ve read:

Quicksilver by Neil Stephenson, a.k.a. Part 1 of “The Baroque Cycle.” It’s actually three books in one. Over 900 pages long. Did I mention it’s only Part 1? It’s a story about the genesis of what I can only guess is a crypographic society. This book takes place in the late 17^th/early 18^th century in (mostly) Europe. Folks who read Cryptonomicon (also by Stephenson) will recognize a few names: Waterhouse and Shaftoe in particular. Consider this book a part of a triple prequel, the other two being Parts 2 & 3 of “The Baroque Cycle,” which I have not read yet.

You know, I don’t care if a book is interesting (which this was), by the time you hit page 700 in a 900 page book you’re about ready for a change. As with all the other hayOOGE books I’ve read, I’m glad I read this one but I’m also glad I’m done with it and can move on. I’m not sure how long the third “Baroque” book is but I have the second — The Confusion — and it’s around 700 pages. Am I going to read it any time soon? Nope.

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore was pretty good. I’ll go ahead and rank it just under Bloodsucking Fiends and Lamb (the latter being the funniest book I’ve ever read, bar none). Any book with Mavis the mechanical bartender is okay by me. Moore has written a number of books with her in them. She’s one of the more unique characters in contemporary fiction. I can’t explain why without sounding like an idiot so I won’t bother. Goofy book…

McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern Issue #13, sometimes just refered to as the comics issue, rocked. It’s about 95% comics. Not mainstream stuff; alternative press, indie, and otherwise off the wall Rated R comics. Even the dustjacket is comics: it folds out to a four page newspaper spread, comics on one side and book credits on the other. Two small booklets with more comics are included, tucked into the folds of the dustjacket. I guess they ran out of space. I’ve gone through a number of McSweeney’s publications and none have disappointed me. This one stands out as one of the better ones, though, which says a lot.

McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern Issue #19 has been mentioned here in the past. Bit by bit I’ve been taking pieces out of the cigar box that holds it together and reading them. At the bottom of the box is an approximately 150 page long book with a few stories. This is what I’m saying I’ve read: the 150 or so page book. The first story didn’t grab me, but the rest did. These things defy categorization or even explanation so I won’t even try. If you know McSweeney’s publications, you already have an idea of what they’re all like. Wowza… I must say I like the bound books better than the loose issues with disconnected pieces, of which this is my first. I also have Issue #16 on my bookshelf, another loose issue but one that I can keep in a bookshelf with other books if necessary. This cigar box… I don’t know where I’m going to put it. It could be worse, like Issue #17 (a bundle of mail held together with a rubber band. What the hell are you supposed to do with THAT? I don’t own that issue… yet…).

‘Kay, that brings us up to today. I just started reading White Teeth by bitchy-young-British-author Zadie Smith. It’s supposed to be mind blowing. I’m about 70 pages into it and so far it actually is good. Hopefully this will continue.

I know you’re sick of hearing the “M” word, but I have to mention that I have six more McSweeney’s books on their way, three are book books and three make up the McSweeney’s First Three Issues gift set, due to ship in July. One of the three former books will take up residence on my nighttable next to the copy of Don Quixote that has had a bookmark at page 150 for about a year. I don’t know what my problem is… This edition of DQ is actually quite funny, like reading a Monty Python skit, but there always seems to be something else I want to read first so I haven’t picked it up in a long, long time. Some day.

Maddox autograph, originally uploaded by erat.

Maddox. No, not Angelina Jolie’s kid. He’s one of the only two people in the Salt Lake City area who can claim to be Internet celebrities (the other being Heather Armstrong). His web site is either loved or hated depending on your capacity for politically incorrect humor and commentary. If you’re easily offended, just avoid the guy, ‘kay?

On June 20th, Maddox kicked off a promotional tour to promote his new book The Alphabet of Manliness. His publisher originally didn’t set up a stop in Salt Lake City (WTF?) but Maddox insisted that one take place. It was held at Sam Weller’s Bookstore, the coolest independent bookstore in the SLC area and a fantastic resource for hard to find books, zines (and other indie publications), McSweeney’s books (!!), etc. Way cool place.

Anyway, Maddox — dressed in a king costume — did his thing: chatting about the book, receiving gifts of beef jerky, answering questions, chatting briefly about future plans (video games, comics, etc.), and reading exerpts from the book. It’s amazing how approachable the guy is. Having only read his web site, I figured he’d at least act like an arsehole to keep up the persona, but nope, he’s actually a nice, funny, friendly guy. Crazy.

He does rule, though.

You can find pictures taken along his book tour here (scroll to the bottom of the page).

Mark

Brian

Darlene

Denise

Susan (although Sue may work)

Matthew (although Matt may work)

David

Frank

Any others? I’ll keep thinking about it…

‘Kay, it’s time to spill.

Some folks know about my recent drama involving my neighbors to the west. I can’t say the drama is over, but I’m at a point where I can at least explain it because — FOR NOW — I’m not going to sic lawyers after them.

Flash back to June 1st: I came home from work to see a VW parked on the concrete pad behind my house. I left a note on the VW saying (paraphrasing here) “nope, private property, park somewhere else.” Brenda and I went out to CPK to eat. When we returned, the VW was still there. I parked Brenda’s car next to it just to show our ownership of the pad. She didn’t mind. Later that night we saw the VW pull out and leave, or so we thought. Brenda went back to the pad to see how her car was doing Just In Case™ and was confronted by a guy who claimed to be our neighbor to the west.

The VW was his wife’s car. He was pissed that I left a note, and perhaps that loosened his lips a bit because he proceeded to tell Brenda that he was going to rip down our fences and appropriate our concrete pad for his own use, specifically to be a driveway for him and his tenants. According to this guy, the pad is actually part of our alley, not our property, and what’s left at the back of our property is available for his use because of some kind of “right of access” that he claims exists only on our property. Lots of other words were exchanged, but that’s all that really matters right now.

We spent an hour or so digging through all of our mortgage and refinance records trying to find evidence of an encumbrance on our property like a right of way, right of access, easement, whatever. Bupkis.

June 2nd: Brenda and I took time off from work to hit the Salt Lake County Recorder’s Office. We researched neighbor guy’s property back to 1980 and our property back to 1991 and saw no evidence of any kind of right of access, special setback, jog in our property lines, easements, anything that would indicate the neighbor was telling the truth. We also found out the name of the owner of the neighbor’s property. I won’t give the name, and I won’t give a description of the guy Brenda “chatted” with, but suffice it to say the name and the appearance don’t align. The plot thickens, maybe. We’re not 100% convinced the guy Brenda encountered is actually the owner. Unfortunately this remains a mystery.

June 8th: You could probably guess what came next… That’s right, I met with a lawyer who specializes in property disputes. I presented all of my research and asked his opinion. He agreed that it looks like neighbor guy has nothing backing his claim to our property.

While there, I asked about the 80+ year old black walnut tree in our backyard that never seemed to come back to life after the neighbor (yes, same neighbor) hacked off all but one branch from one side of the tree (the branches hung over his property). He said if an arborist verifies that removal of the branches killed the tree, we could sue. Hold that thought for a few moments.

Advice before leaving the lawyer’s office: send the neighbor a certified letter stating ownership of our property (including the concrete pad), and finish the letter with a request that he present any and all evidence that would prove us wrong. Then, if nothing happens, go on with life. Lawyer guy then began checking with his younger lawyers to see if any of them could take on the tree case (he was a partner in his firm, and all I’d really need is a pea-shooter for the tree issue).

June 13th: An arborist checked our tree. Its death was perhaps accelerated by the removal of the branches, but that’s not the cause of death. A tree disease swept through Utah about eight years ago and wiped out lots of black walnut trees. Ours survived, but it’s been in a downward spiral ever since. Physical conditions that exist on the tree now as well as past behavior indicate it died from this disease. So, it looks like we’re not suing over the tree, and we’re going to pay in excess of $1k to get it removed. Craptastic.

June 14th: I returned home from work to see a huge demolition size dumpster in the back of my neighbor’s property. In my mind, I’m guessing it’s for one of two things: either there’s a ton of furniture and other belongings that were left in the neighbor’s main house when it was vacated (did I mention the neighbor has two houses on his property? And did I mention that both houses, as of a few days ago, are now empty? WTF is going on over there?), or there’s actual demolotion in our future. I have not yet sent out the certified “stay the F off our property” letter, so I painted a Private Property/No Parking sign on a small wood panel and screwed it into the fence facing our concrete pad. If they demolish anything, they’re doing it in spite of receiving written notice.

June 15th: Oh, that’s today. The fences are still up, nobody’s next door, the dumpster is still there, and I have no idea what’s going to happen next. The fore-mentioned lawyer is ready to pounce if the neighbor does anything to our property, though. Until he does, life is close to being back to normal.

Have I mentioned I’m REALLY tired of dealing with crap like this? Perhaps. You have no idea… And word to the wise: before you purchase a piece of property, a house, whatever, get an ALTA survey, a house location survey, ANYTHING, right up front so you have your legal ammo ready when neighbors try to say your property is theirs.

Do I really need to say anything about this?

Be sure to watch the videos.