Erik’s Blog

That’s right: FREE, as in beer, as in don’t cost nuthin’. Actually, it costs $0.01 and you have to pay for shipping, but yeesh, this is quite a deal. $0.01 + shipping is worth it for the CD alone.

Run, don’t walk, here and get a copy for yezself.

Of course, being a McSweeney’s book, it contains adult content. Here’s an example, just to pique your interest:

blowkay [bloh’-kay] adj. of an attitude, typically exhibited by the electorate, that elected officials who have sexual relations outside of marriage while in office are less deserving of impeachment than officials whose decisions lead to the loss of human life. Folks say the new senator from Rhode Island is a skirt chaser, but as long as he doesn’t send thousands of Americans off to die in a war on false pretenses he’s blowkay with me.

You get the idea.

Sorry, really, but I have to do this. The Daily Show is spot on, once again.

[Update: Fine, Viacom, pull the video. Crooks and Liars still has it. NYAAAH…]

When I first read the headline on Yahoo–”Putin suggests new site for US missile shield“–I immediately assumed the new site was anatomical in nature.

I swear, my mind’s in the gutter sometimes.

Well…um, whatever and stuff, ‘kay?

^{[You grab his arms, I’ll get his legs. Ready?…GO!]}

I just read a news story on Yahoo about the Pentagon having trouble finding new people to fight in Iraq.

Oh, rilly?

Here’s a few sources that they should be able to tap:

• All the pro-war Americans who voted Bush (pronounced “buhsh,” like “rush” with a B) back into office in 2004. I’m sure every one of them would be proud to make the ultimate sacrifice for…someone’s…country.
• Call me crazy, but isn’t there an ENTIRE COUNTRY FULL OF IRAQIS who are supposed to be doing this fighting, not us? Talk about a tree that’s ripe for pickin’.
• It’s tired, I know, but the children of our representatives on Capitol Hill are still sitting around twisting doobies and getting drunk on taxpayer dollars. Give them something to do. Send them over.
• Did I mention that there’s an ENTIRE COUNTRY FULL OF IRAQIS? Oh, I did. Sorry.

Why politicians don’t ask me for advice is a mystery.

Good riddance.

I can hear you through the Internet: WTF?? But trust me, I know what I’m talking about. (more…)

This is too good to be true!

Goofy tid-bit: I snagged this image from ksl.com, a site that has already given the election to Hatch. Idiots.

Update: Yes, I know this is just a fraction of 1% of the precincts. Still, it’s fun to see Hatch not winning, even if the moment is fleeting.

…you’re no longer allowed to read my blog.

So there.

Update [12:37 p.m.]: Aw, COME ON people… How long does it take to plug in a voting machine and test it? Seriously, who’s running the show here? I can’t believe after all the BS of the 2000 and 2004 elections and all the hubbub about Diebold voting machines that we’re dealing with technology issues at voting stations. The utter and complete incompetence blows my mind.

Luckily, the worst thing I can say about my voting location is there’s no indication that people are supposed to vote there. I had to walk in the school and ask where to vote. “Oh, I guess we should put up signs, huh?”

*Smack

Update [12:45 p.m.]: *Smack again. Just because I felt like it.