Erik’s Blog

Somebody, please, remind me where I live. It’s Portland, right? Not San Francisco, or Atlanta, or New York, or LA, but Portland?…Are you sure?

In that case, isn’t this more of a SECONDARY market for graphic design?

That’s what I thought…

…so why is the design industry out here sealed up tighter than a frog’s bunghole?

IDIOTS!

I don’t typically enjoy seeing a former employer go down the crapper, but in this case I think I’ll make an exception.

To SCO: bad luck, sleep poorly, and thank you very little. Oh, and die a flaming death. I can’t think of a company that deserves it more than you do.

Can I hear a collective “EWWWWWW!!!!”

Twice today–TWICE–I got an unexpected and unappreciated neighbor when visiting the men’s room. TWICE. Nobody else in the room, stalls aplenty open and available for use…but no, NOT TODAY, these guys have to sit right next to me when they do their business.

Programmers, help me out here: Is this a software developer thing (my floor is dominated by developers)? Something about maintaining stacks, or linear thinking, or serialization? I can’t think of a single logical reason for a guy to choose stall #2 when stall #1 is occupied and stalls #3 and #4 are available.

Actually I can think of a reason, but I’d like to think positively about my co-workers.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

No fewer than two times today, somebody entered the men’s room on the 4th floor of my company and took the stall right next to mine even though the other stalls were empty.

I’m sorry, but you leave me no choice… Gather around, kids, because Uncle Erik is going to pass along some wisdom that you don’t want to miss. I don’t claim to be the author of these guidelines, but I’m sure as hell going to be the conveyor.

First, a map of the bathroom.

You will notice that the stall all the way on the left is nice and large, offering lots of extra buffer room between its occupant and the neighboring stall. This is my stall. I scope out the bathroom on and off for sometimes a full hour waiting for it (and the rest of the bathroom) to be empty.

This is what the bathroom looks like when my diligence has finally paid off:

Now, I’m not unreasonable. I understand that the bathroom is not 100% mine. I can live with this. What I can’t live with is being close to other people doing their business.

At some point, you will get an urge to use the bathroom at the same time as I. Blame it on altitude, or perhaps too much Top Ramen, but inevitably you will scope out the available stalls and seriously consider the one next to mine:

Yes, you will be tempted. SERIOUSLY tempted. My advice to you is this: take a few breaths — in through the nose, out through the mouth — close your eyes momentarily, and contemplate the benefits of providing a nice, wide buffer between us as we do our business.

Need help with your decision? Here’s an okay option for you to take:

If you really want to stay on my good side, this option is even better:

See? Isn’t that nice? Not only does this arrangement benefit all of us, it’ll guarantee that I won’t hate you to the very fiber of your soul next time I see your shoes walking down the hallway.

Okay, with that out of the way, I have a BONUS QUESTION for you just to see how much you understand what I just said.

In the following situation, WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Answer: Pretend you only entered the bathroom to wash your hands, then high-tail it out of there and come back later when you hope nobody else is around.

If we all work on our etiquette in the 4th floor men’s room, the world will be a kinder, gentler place. Please, do your part for world peace: stay far, far away from me when I’m in the bathroom.

toothpastefordinner.com

Hey, how’s it goin’? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? In case folks think I’ve dropped off the face of the planet or that all the love is gone, I figured I’d check in and post an update or to…or twelve…whatevuh.

Thrills and chills await you after the jump.

(more…)

Since October ‘03 I’ve been employed at the University of Utah doing graphic and web design (okay, more web programming than web design), first at CHPC and then at the Alumni Association. I originally began working there because of the mandatory flexibility that goes along with college jobs. I have learned a ton working at the U and I’ve met and befriended lots of really great people along the way.

But it’s time to move on. Yesterday, I began my new job at LANDesk. I have a few reasons for taking this new job, none of which have anything to do with dissatisfaction with the U of U. Sure, there were annoyances (the turf battles across departments at the U got old after a while) but those can be found everywhere. I’m going to miss the folks at the Alumni Association more than they may think.

I could go on. I won’t, don’t worry. Wish me luck in my new job. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly apprehensive about re-joining the tech industry, but I’m sure it’ll turn out okay.

Barring any unforseen circumstances, I believe I have an internship lined up at Richter7 in downtown SLC.

Schwing…

[Update: It’s confirmed. I begin on May 9th.]